Last day of 2014

26th December 2014
Candle Cake

Hello. It's currently 7am and I am still awake. I was up playing some L4D with my friends back at home. I was also doing some video editing on my trip to Osaka and I'm halfway done with it. I want to do something different by adding some voice over in this vlog so it might take awhile. I was debating about it by myself earlier today but I guess I'll do it since I've been wanting to do it. I shouldn't let my insecurities of my recorded voice bother me. Let's hope it will be up soon.

I digress a little. I've been putting off my university applications. I absolutely hate feeling breathless just at the thought of opening mails and realising that I was not accepted by any school I've applied to. This is perhaps the most embarrassing sort of traumatic anxiety attacks ever. I didn't know I had them until recently.  But good news, I've finished my personal statement. I've just sent it to my writing teacher for some proof-reading before I send in my applications. It wasn't the best but I've trie. I know I shouldn't have put them off until the last minute but I really couldn't help it. I get a depressed over how little I can offer to the universities and all the thoughts of not receiving an offer starts popping up! But since school is re-opening, I'll probably get my momentum going and I'll definitely get it done before the deadline.

I've also realised that today is the last day of the year 2014. What a year it has been! This year is definitely one of the most amazing year I had in a long while. I learnt so many new things and took up new hobbies, or should I say, hobbies that I've been wanting to try but didn't have the confidence to pick them up. Not to mention, I've been receiving compliments for it so I'm really happy about it. I also had a new hair cut which completely changes my image and it helps me to 'look forward' instead of clinging to the past so I'm really glad about it. I'm also really happy to have met so many awesome people this year!

I guess this winter break was pretty fulfilling as well. I got to travel to Osaka and hang out with my friends from college. I got my own 'me' time as well to play all the games and watch all the animes I want. I got to take a lot more photos this winter break and did a whole bunch of photo and video editing. I've even got a chance to meet up with Benj and go on a trip to Kawagoe! We met during Danny Choo's Culture Japan night and became friends. I've been making a whole lot of vlogs as well. Sometimes looking back at them makes me giggle.

Side note. Recently, I've been having skype calls with my guy pals back at home and it makes me miss home a lot. Or, at least I miss hanging out with them for supper and playing games all day. I think I might have a crush on all of them! (or just one.) hahaha.

I have so many backlogs but I hope to get them done soon. I procrastinate too much.
I shall head to bed. Good night. x

PS: Wishing everyone a wonderful last day of the year 2014. May 2015 be better!

Simple indulgence

Nutcracker
18th December 2014

Hello. I haven't done a follow up since the last post ranting about not receiving my results from school. Nonetheless, I received my results the in evening on the day after I ranted. And, good news because I made it into the dean's list again which means I received good grades! Yahhhh.

I've been having outings with friends and I made a new vlog yesterday! Even though I don't have much clips to put together, I still want to make it because I want to be able to look back at all the silly/awkward dances I did with my friends. I think I'm on weird dance craze recently.

We decided to bake brownies but we ended up making a cake instead. While trying to bake, we did a series of silly and awkward dances while making the mix. I think it was because we were high on tacos. We had so much food from taco bell, we had to burn them off somehow. If you're interested, click the video below!



Today, I went on a solo trip to town to catch a movie and bought a small luggage! For a Monday, it was unexpectedly crowded. Am I missing out on something today? Is today some sort of public holiday that I do not know of? Is winter solstice a legit public holiday here in Japan?

Anyways, all the cafes I want to hide in was packed with people. So, I've decided to hang out at a bookstore and the manga shop longer to kill some time while waiting for my movie to start. I bought an evening ticket, thinking that I might oversleep and miss the movie time but I was just in time for the 3pm movie! I should have bought an earlier timing if I knew today was going to be so packed throughout the day.

I caught the live action movie of the manga/anime adaptation 'Parasyte'. IT WAS SO GOOD! The CG was really impressive. I jumped at a few scenes because of the sudden swiping of the blades. I felt so embarrassed though because no one jumped but me! *face palm*

I can't wait to watch the second part of the film. I'm not going to compare the anime and the film but I have to say that 'migi' is much cuter in the film though. Even though I don't really like the attitude of the movie version, Izumi, because he sounded so rude all the time. But, I have to admit, the actor is pretty awesome! Maybe they are following the original adaptation of the manga or that I'm missing out on something again. lol.

Speaking about movies and animes, I ran out of animes to watch for this season. There aren't many that caught my eye though. Last season's animes were SO GOOD though. Tokyo Ghoul broke me. :(

OH! I almost forgot... I just happen to spot the otome winter market event at Shinjuku. I just HAD to go and pay a visit so I ended up getting two cushion from the shop - Hakuouki designed and Shinobi Koi Utsutsu designed. How can I resist them since they are the few otome games I liked? I mean, both of the series had to do with samurais and ninjas. Anything that has ninjas and samurais win hands down! Two additional cushions added to my collections. Japan really spoils me. Or, at least Tokyo spoils me. haha.

Anyways, peace out! xoxo

No post on Sundays

Yokohama Ferris Wheel @ Minato Mirai Station
11th December 2014

I slept at four o'clock in the morning today and woke up twelve hours later, at four o'clock in the evening. I thought I woke up to a gloomy afternoon at twelve. I thought my days of strange sleeping patterns came to an end. I checked the time just to make sure I was right but I was wrong. I wasn't feeling sad or anything, but I just felt that I had to make today a little more productive.

I haven't been having any inspiration lately so I pressed play on my instrumental and melancholy playlist. Anyone who has came to my apartment or call me and hear this playing in the background, it means I'm trying to get serious and work on my stuff, or what I like to call, 'the zone'. It usually doesn't last long but it helps me to stay focus. Some may say it's too gloomy for their taste but I like it as it gets my brain working. But sometimes, I fear it might be the cause of my depression some time later in the years. lol.

I did a little photo-editing, had dinner, browsed through tumblr and facebook, and went out to check the mail. I'm still waiting for my transcripts from school. Then, it hit me, there is no posts on Sundays! I can't handle the suspense! Since tomorrow might be the day I receive my results, I can still use today to pray for good luck, right?

Vlog: A trip to Yokohama!

11th December 2014
Trip to Yokohama

Hello. I went to Yokohama on Thursday with friends from college to enjoy the lovely illuminations! A little get away from Tokyo once in a while is always good. Yokohama will always hold a special place in my tiny little heart. I think Japan looks the best during winter season because everywhere is decorated with illuminations and it feels so happy and festive!

I haven't made a video in a while so I thought I would make a little video to sum-up our little evening trip there. I muted all our talking because there was loads of nonsense. This time, I also picked a little more christmassy and relaxing genre as the background music. I had so much fun! I want to go again! Anyways, enjoy the video! :)


Taken with my Olympus OMD EM10
xoxo,
C

Another year gone (almost).

6th December
Two adults trying to hop on a tiny train.
All the food and wintery coldness must be messing with our brains.

Hello. I'm done with finals and my third semester of school. I'll be a second year student next semester and I'll have only two semesters left before I graduate. Time files. I'll do a quick some up because I'm tired from spring cleaning my apartment for the past few hours. Actually, I've been having dizzy spells for the whole day and it's pretty unpleasant.

Anyways, I've been busy the past few days with social gatherings. I've been eating non-stop and socialising with people. I'm at the phase where I dislike face-to-face socialising. I'm not sure if I'm fed up with all the ridiculously twisted truths of reality or that I'm just lazy. But I honestly hope it's the latter because I still enjoy hanging out with my good friends for a few drinks and some good conversations.

Last weekend, I attended a year end party hosted by the Singapore Embassy in Japan. To be honest, I'm only attending for the sake of having some local food which I was dying to have. Also, to meet up with some of my favourite people I got to know from the outings there. After we had our food, we visited to the nearby Buddhist temple. Then, we visited Tokyo Tower that was just five minutes away. We did the same last year as well. It sure brings back memories. This  year, we only had three people instead of five because the other two went back home to Singapore. I'll miss them for sure. This year, I managed to meet new people, which was really cool as well.

Earlier this week, I went out to have some korean BBQ with two lovely ladies from college. We had a few drinks and hung out at a bar before heading home. We even took purikura together, which was awesome. This coming Thursday, I'll be hanging out with a group of awesome people from college as well. We'll be going to see some illuminations so hopefully I have a lot of photos to post up soon. I have a lot of photos I have yet to edit. I don't know how I'm ever going to finish all of them. lol.

Might be a little too early to say this but so far, this year has been great. A year full of new meetings and challenges. It's a good way to let me say goodbye to the past. I like the new me. I learnt a lot and I want to continue learning more.

God bless.

xoxo,
C

Six hours to my Birthday!

November 2014

This was basically a screenshot of my instagram page, with a little cropping and photoshopping to put the photos in place. This depicts the few interesting things that happened over the month of November. November flew by really fast because there were assignment deadlines and such. Yesterday was officially the last day of school! Next week would be the start of finals week. After that, it would be the winter holidays!

In less than half a day would be my birthday and I'll officially be 23 years old. Last few months was a huge transition for me to actually try to look my age for once. I cut my hair short, grew out my fringe, did a little wardrobe change, and try to indulge in my hobbies. This change was a huge turning point for me. I guess this is why I'm much happier to turn 23 this year. I'm happy with the efforts I'm making to change how I want my life to be. Growing older isn't what anyone would look forward to but I think it's for the best.

Birthday cakes for SaShiMi Toch

I had my early birthday celebration with the other November and December babies done by my favourite people in International Club! It was lovely and I didn't know they were planning all of that. I used to be the few people who helped to plan the surprise for the other members! lol. I like how the names were cut short to fit in the messages, and the awesome sparklers. I'm a sucker for sparklers. The cakes were delicious, and the messages in the bottles were really sweet. I love you guys! I'm so glad to be part of the International Club!

I even got a chance to meet up with Kai and friends. Kai paid for my dinner at Ichiran. It was awesome. The fact that we got to meet up in Japan was awesome. I wanted to spend more time with them if I could but its the exam period so I've decided to not attend any celebrations of sort. Including the few 'Thanksgiving' parties I've been invited to. I'm sorry I'm a party pooper. I'm not a 'partying' sort of person, and my future to transfer to the UK is basically is dependent on my decisions made this year so I want to make the best out of what I have even if sacrifices are needed. I love you guys!

I'm planning loads of fun activities to do for myself this winter holidays. Mostly travelling and documenting my adventures. I hope I'll stick to my plans on documenting them down. Even if I don't write anything, I'm planning to get them in photos (or videos) by printing them and getting them in hard-copies. I know one of it is coming up real soon after I finish editing all the photos; I'm halfway done with them.

I'm also almost done with my final year project for web design class. I'm doing my own website but I don't really have much achievements in my professional life to put on it so I think it's going to look pretty noobie. lol. But what the heck, I'm going to try to make it look as professional as I can. lol.

I'm actually have mixed feelings that the semester is coming to an end. This year is coming to an end! I'm going to be a second year college student next semester! Everything is going by so fast and I simply can't believe it! I'm actually going to miss all the classes I'm having this semester. it was a tough semester but I definitely enjoyed the challenges. I learnt so many things this semester. Everyday is a learning journey! Knowledge is power! I'm so sad I won't be taking any more philosophy modules or COM modules next semester. I'm going to focus on my social sciences instead. The problem of having too many interests in almost everything, except in business and math. lol.


And, happy birthday to Sandy and William. Both on the 28th of November.
And, an early happy birthday to myself for tomorrow will be my birthday.
We're all born on the same year too. What are the odds of that?!


xoxo,
C.

If anyone wants a HD view of those photos, go to my instagram page or my tumblr because I keep most of my photos stored there because there isn't a problem with memory storage!

10 more days!

Olympus OM-D EM-10
Omd-chan. :)

I've finally bought the camera that I've been (sort of) DYING to get. No actually, I just want a new camera. And, the best time to get it is this lovely festive season? I've decided to get this for myself as a birthday and christmas present! I love how small and light it is. I'm glad I listened to Will's recommendation. Because I got this camera, I currently have three different lenses! Ooooh yeahhh...! 

Since I think, for an amateur, I've taken some pretty good photos. So, I'm planning to compile them and print them into a mini photobook for keepsake. I was inspired by my friend, Michael K., from college, to get it printed out. I had to put his initials because there is quite a few other Michaels in school.

This winter break is going to be exciting! I can't wait to watch more animes from this season, and catch up on a few other dramas I've started since the beginning of this semester. And, of course, my virgin trip to Osaka!! Here I come USJ!

Leave it to EMS to be so efficient. Perhaps a little too efficient. I'm not complaining though. lol.

xx.

22 days to go...

instagram @ kisaxdots

I haven't been writing because I've been rushing all my assignments.  A screenshot of my instagram on my iphone with the recent things that I've been doing - Halloween Party, New hairstyle, and a photo of me procrastinating.

I love my new hairstyle now because I think it suits my personality, as compared to my previous hairstyle. In fact, i do cringe a little when I look at my previous photos of myself. I can't believe I managed to have that hairstyle for so long! I'm happy for this change and I'm keeping it. Even Emily agrees that this hairstyle suits my personality. ;P

Arts Day + Halloween event for college is over and done with, I'm pretty much done with club activities. I'm going to concentrate on my research papers, web design projects and finals until the end of the semester. This week was a tough one. This month is going to be a tough one.

Like every other year, I look forward to Christmas. This year, I'm planning on a trip to Osaka this coming Christmas. I'm looking forward to that because it would be my first trip outside of Tokyo with my friends from college!

I've decided. I'm going to invest in a new camera this year. I'll get the new macbook air next year after graduation. :)

I'm sleepy so I'm going to take a nap. x

29 days to go...

Halloween is over, and exactly 29 days from today will be my birthday. Since my birthday is coming soon, I'm going to put up a wishlist. This was made after carefully considerations. I'm not expecting anyone to get it for me (maybe with the exceptions of my family *hint*hint*). This list is like a letter to myself, so that I can get one of those in the list (Preferably, either of the first two), for myself.

These are the few items I've been wanting for a long while now. Since I don't have the christmas present exchange custom, this wish-list only comes once a year. In fact, this is the first time I'm making it, ever.

• MacBook Air/Pro
• New camera. Preferably something similar to the one I'm using now. (Olympus Pen e-1)
• A vintage-looking bookshelf
• A new awesome looking black wallet
• A new awesome looking black luggage

I'm going to get back to my readings for my assignments. I can't wait for Monday because I made an appointment with the salon. I'm trimming it shorter. I'm actually not missing my long hair at all. My fringe is growing out pretty well too. :)

I'll post up photos from Halloween once I find the time. Assignment deadline in about 2 weeks time. I don't have time to procrastinate! x

PS: Arts Day + Halloween Party was awesome. Everyone looked awesome in their Halloween costume!

Boo to exams

18th October 2014
Sneak shot of Shuka doing her response paper

The weather is getting colder and I'm currently a human burrito as I am typing this. It's still manageable if I wore a jacket or something but hiding under my blanket is more comfortable. The woes of staying in a country that has four seasons.

Mid-term examination is just about over. I'm left with my last paper, Web Design, this coming Wednesday. I'm looking forward to get it over and done with because exams are as stressful as they come. Speaking of which, I received my grades for my other modules and I'm not satisfied with some because I know I can do better. But I am very surprised with my grades for Ethics module. I wasn't expecting to get that grade because it's such a difficult class! Interesting, but difficult. At least now I know that my ethics textbook that costs ¥16000 is not an utter waste of money. So expensive. Ouch. I feel that I'll be in debt to my mom for the rest of my life.

I've started drinking green tea frappuccino again. I'm not sure what made me feel like drinking it again. I told myself to stop visiting starbucks or any cafes so that I can save up on my expenses. I guess I really miss spending half a day in cafes doing my own work. Last weekend, I got the chance to hang out at starbucks to leech on their wifi. Free wifi is swell.

Yesterday, I went to Akihabara and spent half a day there was because I had an appointment with my friend who was in town for a day before he leaves for the other parts of Japan. It was a nice catching up session. He even introduced to me some animes to watch. The lists of animes to watch is never ending. lol. He also managed to convince me why Android is a much better phone than iphone. All these while no one was able to tell me why Android is better. The answer I usually got was "Because Iphone sucks?". That is just simple subjectivism. And, I refused to take that as a good argument for your stand because "Boo to you. And Yay to myself".

And, I hope you have a brilliant day. x

Photo from the future

10-10-2014

Featuring a photo of myself contemplating if I should grow out my fringe. This photo could possibly be taken in the future and sent back to the past because I have not grown out my fringe yet. Creepy, since it's Halloween month.

It's actually none of the science fiction/time travelling sort. I just happened to be fixing up my fringe because it was getting long and is starting to poke my eyes. I pulled some hair from the side and forced my fringe to the right side and tucked it away behind my ears. Since I haven't had long fringe in like, forever, I've decided to take a selfie and hopefully get my friends to drop some comments if I should grow it out. Since this not the usual angle on how I take selfies, and not the usual hair-do I have, my friends are commenting how different I look. Not to mention, I don't have my makeup and contact lenses on. But despite me looking 'different', I suppose it was on a position note. And yes, I think I will grow out my fringe. :)


PS: I've been playing Zankyou no Terror's OST since Friday. It is SO GOOD. 

PSS: I am very excited for the new sequel of Tokyo Ghoul, both the anime and manga.

PSSS: I am bad with web design positioning. I need to learn it the right way.

PSSSS: 3 exams in a day. I'm actually worried. Will my prayers be heard? lol.

Solo Day Trip - Kawagoe

I was feeling light headed so I went to made some udon for supper before heading to bed last night. I love udon. I like the tenderness and the texture of udon that neither soba nor ramen can be compared with.

4th October 2014

Last weekend, I went to kawagoe, a city in Saitama prefecture. It was a much anticipated trip. I wanted to go to this place called "Little Edo" (小江戸) because they still kept the old buildings from the edo period, which I thought was extremely fascinating. There was a mix of modern society with ancient Japanese buildings and westernised clothing. It was peculiar because it felt as though I went through a time slip to the Meiji period, when there was an influx of western culture in Japan.

I went to visit a few temples around the vicinity. The main and perhaps more famous one was the Kitain Buddhist temple. The place was huge, and it was connected to the extant structures of the Edo castle. I got myself an fortune telling paper strips(おみくじ). I usually pray for the same things when I go to a temple, studies, health, safety, and success. Praying helps me to feel at ease a little more because I will feel that I'm being watched over and I'm not in this alone. I got a regular luck this time which isn't so bad.

4th October 2014
Omikuji

I stood in front of the information board, trying to figure out how to get around the place, a friendly old man came up to me. He told me that my bag was opened. I didn't hear it the first time because I had my earpiece on. I felt so embarrassed and said 'thank you' to the old man. He then continued to ask me if I was going around taking photos. I was wearing my camera around my neck, one hand holding on to it. Since I'm not a professional photographer, I just smiled and nodded a little, telling him that I'm just a beginner. He gave me some tips on taking photos and showed me some of his photos. I thought his photos were brilliant.

I always get so intimidated when a stranger talks to me. I wish I wasn't so intimidated so I could have a better conversation with that old man. I felt my japanese failing on me at that moment. Nonetheless, it definitely made my day. I felt so motivated for the day. It was a good way to start off my day trip.

I paid a little fee of ¥400 and went in the castle exhibit. The place was beautiful. There was also the garden place, and the toilet that Tokugawa Iemitsu used. I was in awe when I was touring around the place. The wooden flooring and architecture was brilliant. I really wished I was born during that era so I can actually feel how everyone was like. The creaking wooden flooring, the sliding of the door... Taking a walk around the garden within the house..... Sometimes, I feel like I was born in the wrong era.

I went back home during the late afternoon because I was pretty exhausted after walking around. I almost went to a starbucks cafe at the station to do my work, which I totally regretted not doing so because if I did, I'd probably had finish some work. I have too many distractions back at home. I'm glad I'm receiving good comments on my photos, since I'm still a beginner. My first official camera that I own currently is only one and a half years old. I also only officially started using it more a few months ago.

I had a mini photoshoot amidst writing this post because I got inspired by a song I was listening to, called "You are the moon" by The Hush Cloud. The song didn't catch my attention all this while when I was listening to it until moments ago. I love emo ballad songs. Something must be wrong with me. lol.

Love, C.

Hello October!

29 September 2014
Touka and Kaneke cookies from Tokyo Ghoul cafe event!

I can't believe it's already coming to an end of the 5th week of school. I'm just starting to feel the stress because midterms are coming. Also, I've finally started on my research papers. I'm still stuck with finding a topic for my ethics essay though. I swear, ethics will be the death of me! I enjoy the class, but I'm really bad at it.

Anyways, I felt like writing today because I've already did my readings for tomorrow's ethics class. I'm also in an extremely good mood right now because of the email I just received earlier on. It's no big deal because it's just a regular newsletter from a university. It's the content that made me so happy. At the end of October, there is going to be another university fair and I am extremely excited for it. Also, I am able to recognise more university names than before. The first time I went in Spring, I knew almost none except for Cambridge University and Oxford University. Obviously, I didn't even think of going near those booths.

I can already visualise how it would feel like this time when I go to the university fair. I will confidently walk towards those booths, sit down and ask some legit questions showing that I actually came prepared while showing a little wittiness. Though, I usually end up embarrassing myself. lol. But yes, I am looking forward to it because this might actually be a sign up the al'mighty powers from above.

I'm also planning on a trip to the North West of Tokyo for my own personal trip and for a school project. This week is going to be a little busy because I have so many assignment to finish up and midterms to revise for. But home-girl will get it done because I think I managed to build up a little momentum.

Oh yes, last week, I went to this Tokyo Ghoul event at Patisserie Swallowtail Annex at Shinjuku with Sam. I had so much fun even though it was a short little outing after school. I haven't got a chance to attend such events. Now, I finally did, I love it. The cookie is so cute, I really don't dare to eat it because my heart would just break. (I jest) I've posted some photos on my instagram, check out my instagram if you haven't already!! :)

By the way, is it me or is Persona 3's OST awesome? :)

I fell sick right after the end of summer.

I grew to dislike posting negative stuff on the internet because anyone might read that. I hate to spread negativity. Also, I know my mother reads my blog and I would hate to hear her nag and be worried. But since it has been a long time since I've fallen sick, I thought it would be alright to keep a recording of it.lol.

Since I'm writing this now, it also means that I'm feeling a lot better and able to think properly. I had a slight fever and tension headaches since Friday. I finally popped in some medication earlier this evening after I woke up from my nap. I didn't know I had any medicine until I went on a scavenger hunt for it in my closet. I don't visit the pharmacy often because I hardly fall sick. I didn't see a need to shop for any medicine until the time comes. But I guess I've forgotten that I'm living alone now so I need some emergency medication in my apartment at all times. 

I hate the feeling of being sick. I hate the feeling of feeling cold and weak. Is this how it feels to be dying? I saw tv shows years ago showing a person whose dying to tell his/her friend that he/she is cold, before he/she actually dies. Argh. That feeling really suck. 

Kudos to being healthy and alive! Peace. X

Indulging in different cultures

It has been a long while since I went travelling around Tokyo, enjoying Japanese culture. This is what I've promised myself a week ago: Travel around Tokyo every weekend.

Knowing my own habits of procrastinating, I reckoned it'd be better if I went travelling around Tokyo. At least I'll be doing something productive instead of staying indoors refreshing facebook, twitter and tumblr. lol.

Last weekend, I went to two events TGS and a festival at Nezu Shrine. Also, at the same time meet up with my friend, Kai, who was here for a while for work. I haven't been going to conventions in a long while so I thought I'd go to the Tokyo Game Show 2014. Also because there was a few booths that I'm interested in. Though, I must admit my knowledge on games is almost zero since I only play games leisurely. What caught my attention the most was the 「壁ドン」(kabe-don)  section from the otome game company, Voltage.

I wanted to try it SO MUCH! I went to the booth twice and I missed the sessions for the experience zone! According to my friend, Sam, she said there was another BL game and for their experience zone, they have this ikemen pinning the visitors down. One time, the visitor actually pinned the ikemen butler down. I thought that was hilariously courageous of that girl to do that! I would love to witness that. It's not something anyone get to see everyday right? It was my first ever game convention and I'm already enjoying it and bringing back so many memories. lol.

Yesterday, I went to watch 「るろうに剣心　伝説の最期編」(Rurouni Kenshin - The Legend Ends/Densetsu no Saigohen). Kai told me I looked agitated throughout the movie. Well, I am really engrossed in the movie that I could feel their emotions and everything! That's usually how I watch any films or anime. I let myself seep into the film. I put myself in the position of the characters so I can truly feel everything. I don't just watch a film for fun. I want to get the best out of everything. Not many people understand my 'involvement' and reactions towards the films I watch. Not that I expect anyone to do so, really.

Also, I still cannot believe I actually heard the studio version of One Ok Rock's song, "Heartache", during the credits. Though, I knew what was coming but the song was just too beautiful that I teared. I already teared quite a bit in the movie so crying a little more wouldn't make much of a difference now, would it? lol. It is a beautiful song. I found on youtube that someone recorded the one played from the movie theatres. I ripped it and now it's on replay while I type this post. I can't wait for it to be out in a single or an album because I am going to get it!! I really love One Ok Rock. I love them so much. Never regret a single thing after knowing them and hearing their music. So inspirational!

Anyways, after the movie, Kai and I set out to a festival at Nezu Shrine. My anthropology teacher was telling me about this festival last friday. After moving to Japan for about half a year, I still have not gone to an actual summer/autumn festival event. I'm really glad I got a chance to do so now!

21st September 2014
金魚すくい
Goldfish scooping

One of the main reasons why I wanted to go to a festival was because they have goldfish scooping! I've always wanted to try this! I remember always seeing this in animes and stuff. Sometimes, the boyfriend will scoop the goldfish for his girlfriend and blah blah blah....You know the typical story plot. haha. I thought it was really sweet. (in a way. lol)

This was my first time goldfish scooping and I must admit, I am quite talented in this. lol. With one scoop, I managed to scoop five cute goldfishes! I am finally better than Kai at something. lol. Though, I feel half glad and regretful that I didn't bring those goldfish back. I want a pet but I don't have time to take care of it so I can't keep them.

Nonetheless, it was an exciting weekend! I enjoyed both the main culture and the subculture of Japan. For a moment, I even contemplated on wanting to stay in Japan longer or forever. Culture in Japan is so rich! I love Japan so much!

x

PS: I love Tokyo Ghoul, at the same time I hate it so much. (T^T)

Adventures in my Head: The Hunt

"We have to go find it!",  I said furiously.

"You will not! It is too dangerous," the professor said furiously while trying to sound calm.

"But!"

"No buts! Now the three of you, go back to your dormitories. Leave such matters to the higher ups. Good Night," she replied sternly.

The three of us sighed, turned our backs and walked out of the office. We reached our dormitories and sat down on the chairs in front of the fireplace.

I said, "How can they stop us from going? If we delay anymore, the chances of finding it wil-"

"Don't worry. You're not the only one who thinks this way," Shane said, cutting into my sentence.

My eyes widened and replied almost immediately, "What?"

"Yeah," Michael said calmly, almost like he was indifferent to the whole matter.

I took a deep breath and asked, "So you guys are saying that you'll join in in this expedition? Even though you'd probably get expelled."

They both nodded. I smiled and replied, "I love you guys."

"So when are we setting off?" asked Shane.

I grinned mischievously and said, "I'm thinking of tonight. We can go prepare all the necessities and head out. I don't want to lose anymore time. Time is a crucial matter."

"Okay. We'll meet here in 30 minutes then?", asked Shane. I nodded in agreement.

"What do you mean by necessities?" asked Michael in a sarcastic tone.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Michael. No time for jokes! You know? Wands, our broomsticks, and enough clothing to keep us warm? And, perhaps some rations."

Michael shrugged and said, "I'm not joking. I'm really asking a question."

"But you sounded really sarcastic though," I said defensively.

"Okay guys! Let's just go prepare. We're wasting time here." Shane said cutting into our conversation.

I felt a little apologetic for making the unnecessary ruckus. I nodded and went up the stairs and back into my room. We met up 30 minutes later in our robes, holding our broomsticks, and we set off.

"It's bloody cold tonight and it's not suppose to be winter yet!", I shouted out. They laughed at my comment as we rode on our broomsticks to our destination.

After flying on our broomsticks for about half an hour, we stopped and I pointed to a castle and said, "This is the place. Or, at least according to the information I got. You guys ready?"

"Yeah," they both replied.

"I'm nervous though." I said taking a breath.

"Don't worry. We're here.", replied Shane putting her hands on my shoulder.

I glanced at her and gave a weak smile. I took a deep breathe and took out my wand. Shane and Michael both took out their wands and we flew towards the castle. As we were flying towards the castle other witches and wizards flew towards us casting spells at us.

I shouted, "Holy!", as we dodged the spells, breaking our formation. We fought back casting different spells. After 10 minutes of never ending spells exchanging, I cast a shield spell around me to deflect the spells coming at me.

Then, I signaled to the Shane and Michael to stop fighting and said, "Let's go! We don't have time for this. We need to preserve our energy!"

They nodded and followed behind me while deflecting the spells coming at them.  We flew towards this window that was opened and closed it behind us. We got off our broom and rest for awhile. Breathing deeply, I said, "What was that about? It's like as if they knew we're coming."

"It's been a long time since I had action like this though," replied Michael, sounding a tad excited.

I smiled in agreement, still trying to catch my breath.

Shane smiled while brushing dust off her robes and said, "Okay. Shall we move on before they find us here?"

Michael and I nodded. We've decided to travel by broomsticks while in the castle since the halls were extremely spacious. Since it was spacious, flying on a broomstick would mean an easier escape during a pinch. We got on our broomsticks, levitated a few inches from the floor, just enough for our feets to not touch the ground, and flew towards the door. The door creaked as we opened it slowly. Shane took a peek outside to see if it was safe enough to leave the room.

She whispered, "Coast is clear."

We lined up in an orderly manner behind Shane, trying our best to not open the door any wider since the door makes a creak. We slowly picked up more speed as we move along the never-ending hallways.

"Where exactly are we going?", Shane asked.

A sudden realisation came to me and I jolted slightly. "Right. Where were we going again?", I whispered to myself. I think I got too caught up with all the action earlier that I've forgotten where we're suppose to go! Then, we heard a voice and footsteps in front of us. We stopped and levitated all the way to the ceiling, trying to hide presence.

Suddenly, someone shouted from behind us, " Hey! Who are you guys? Intruders?!"

The three of us jumped slightly and looked behind us. I felt my heart racing and cold sweat forming on my forehead.

"Get them!"

The wizards casted spells towards us and summoned their broomsticks. We got out our wands, ready for another round of battle.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. With a serious expression on my face, I said, "Let's go."

We defended ourselves from the witches and wizards while speeding past them, and through the extremely long and spacious hallway. At the end of the hallway, there was a medium sized hall with a strange man standing in the middle.

He stopped us and said, "The only way to get out of here is to fly through either of these two exits and up to the floors."

My eyebrows furrowed. I know we didn't have time to slowly ponder since the enemies are catching up on us. I shut my eyes and flew to the left exit giving full trust to my gut feeling. They both followed behind me.

As we flew up through the chimney, there were tons of other strange looking humans. I'm not even sure if they are humans, they look like minions instead. We decelerated our flying speed as we looked around our surrounding. My were eyes wide-opened.

"What is this place?", Shane asked.

"The people here looks like the people you see in Kabukicho's arcade.", replied Michael.

"Yeah. Now that you say it, they do. Wait.... this place looks like an arcade!", I replied.


******

I abruptly woke up from my dream because everything started getting strange. To be honest, I don't know what exactly we are searching for because it just wasn't explained in my dream. The setting was all victorian at first and it ended up becoming some futuristic arcade in one of Shinjuku's Kabukicho arcade. The strangest thing is, I haven't been watching Harry Potter recently nor have I stepped into any arcade in Japan. I'm also surprised that Shane and Michael even had a cameo in my dream. The awesome part of the dream was actually having real wizard battles and flying on a broomstick. Though, it was much more exciting in my dream. I'm still learning how to better describe everything through writing. I haven't done creative writing in years. I'm trying to read more books to get back all the techniques and whatsnot. So pardon me if there are many loopholes and non descriptive parts. I'm trying. x

Mushroom Head

5th of September 2014
Bob hair

Hello. I just had my first week of school for the Autumn semester. It had been a week and I am exhausted. I'm not sure if it's because age is finally catching up on me or are the modules I'm taking this semester going to tire me out. Maybe it's both. I've also signed up for some part time job at school. I'm hoping to start soon because I'm in need of money. The amount of money might not be much but I'm hoping to have some savings next year when I further my studies in England. I went to the salon a few days back and got my hair cut short. It's barely touching my shoulders and I love it. It's new and refreshing. I haven't had a hair this short since I was about 5 years old, perhaps?

According to a belief, suddenly cutting long hair into a short cut means to forget the past and start anew. For my case, it is sort of true. I do have tons of things I want to forget and start anew. After I got my haircut, I really felt refreshed. Now, I can safely say, I've moved on. I was contemplating on cutting my hair short since about a year ago but I didn't have the guts to do it. But I finally did after Emily persuaded me. She told that if I didn't go all out and cut it short, above my shoulders at least, there isn't exactly a change in my hairstyle or image. I couldn't disagree. So far, the compliments on my new hairstyles have been good. I thank you all for liking my new hair as much as I do.

This morning, I was greeted by a text message from Shane. She texted me with "My lovely mushroom". I must say, I'm slowly taken a liking to the new nickname "Mushroom head" or the Japanese way of calling me a mushroom, "キノコちゃん". I guess it was partly because of the facebook status I posted on my facebook that I've cut my hair and officially became a mushroom head. I was surprised to receive 30 likes (be it for the right or wrong reasons) because this had never happened to me in all my facebook status history! I suppose everyone was looking forward to me having a real mushroom like bob hairstyle to have a good laugh at. Or, happy that I've actually ventured off on adopting a new funky hairstyle. Though, I did neither. But, the day when I got out of the hair salon, I did have a mushroom-like hairstyle because my hair stylist wanted to curl the ends of my hair. Like all my previous hairstylists, they like to try something else with my hair after they cut it. Like always, I would let them. The second day after I washed off the curls and straighten the ends of my hair, it went back to a normal bob. So, I'm not really a mushroom head but a bob head.

A package from home also came by last night. My sister sent me 3 pairs of fake spectacle frames that she stopped wearing as well as some administrative stuff from my mother. I broke my last pair of black spectacle frames. I love fake spectacle frames, not because I'm trying to make a fashion statement, but it helps to cover my dark eye rings. It also helps on lazy days.

A quick update on what shows I've been watching. I've just been watching 'Finding Carter'. I'm usually not into American TV series but my favourite actress, Kathryn Prescott, is acting as the main character, Carter. So, as a fan, I'm watching it. I really like her acting. And, because she does photography besides being an actress made me love her even more. I think people who does photography and/or writing has this... charm, that I cannot not notice. I hope one day I'll be as charming as them. lol.

The weather is pretty warm this week. I hope it starts cooling down soon. My sweaters and boots are calling me. I want to wear my red beanie out again. It has been nice writing here again. x

PS: Another reason was because my hair was in a mess and I couldn't take it anymore so I've decided to snip it all off. lol.

End of Summer Holidays

Emily and Charis
Exploring the western end of Tokyo
28th of August 2014

School is going to start next week for me so it's 'Bye-Bye' summer holidays. I'm not going to complain or beg for a longer summer break because I think this year's summer is well spent! In fact, I think I managed to accomplish more than what I expected.

This summer, I finally took out my camera that I got last year to go around taking photos around Tokyo. I got caught up with different bits of life during my first year in Tokyo, Japan. Thus, the lack of photos until recently. I've finally decided to take (in my opinion) better photos than random snapshots. And, I'm glad I'm getting compliments from my friends on my photos.

This summer break wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. In fact, it was pretty enjoyable. I got to attend two fireworks festival this summer and do my little fireworks party with a few awesome people. I even got a whole week of stay-at-home days for me to play some RPG games, catch up with my animes, mangas and hide away from the sun! I also got to travel to the western end of Tokyo to do a little exploring with Emily.

To top it all off, I decided to spend my last weekend with Emily. Just a day before, I had a sleepover at Emily's apartment. We went grocery shopping, cooked Singapore's chicken rice with the instant paste I brought over, watched 'Spirited Away' anime movie, and ordered an extremely delicious udon to be delivered to her apartment for lunch.

What more can ask for when this is close to a perfect summer holidays? I mean, I got to have my well deserved rest, my well deserved adventure and absorbing a little of Japan's summer culture, and create awesome memories with my friends!

Since I had a well spent summer holidays, I think I am ready for the Autumn and the fall semester for college. And, maybe for university applications as well. x

Picnic at Yoyogi Park

Picnic at Yoyogi Park with some of the International Club members!
From left: Shogo, Marina, Ryuichi, Me and Shane. Thanks Stew, for taking this awesome picture!
24th of August 2014

Since last semester, I'm part of the International Club. The club was busy with it's reforming so no activities were planned. But Shane and I was thinking that we should have a get together during the summer holidays to get to know some of the members better before the upcoming Fall semester. Knowing the members better would make planning activities together in the future easier. As planned, we had a picnic session at Yoyogi Park with some of the members who could attend. I had so much fun and happy that everything went smoothly. This might actually be a really good start for the whole club!

We saw Shane's friend at the park so we hung out with them and played frisbee. Oh boy, it was so fun. It reminded me of the days in secondary school when I last played frisbee. I even got to meet a fellow Singaporean. It's nice to meet people from my homeland. Shogo and Marina brought home-made food. The cookies and churros were really delicious, I couldn't stop eating them! We did a mini fireworks before we left the park. Since we're at the park, the most we could do was sparklers. We could not do rockets or anything. But it was still fun since the people I was hanging out with are cool people! I love sparklers! I would like to play with sparklers with my friends back at home some day. I mean, it's summer all year round so we can do it anytime we want! haha.

I also had the famous Ichiran Tonkotsu Ramen with Shane for dinner. It is the second time I'm having dinner with her! She's such a cool person. She even taught me some Tagalog! I also tried speaking Tagalog with some of her friends from church during the picnic. It's so fun to learn different languages!

This basically sums up the awesome sunday outing with my club members. I'm down to my last week of summer holidays. I can't wait for Autumn!

x

Summer Movies and Animes

Since I am down to the mid of my third week of summer holidays, I reckon I should do a little update on the animes and films I've recently watched. I love watching different films but I am also very picky about what I watch. I usually don't watch anything that is too popular. Hipster. Unless, the storyline is something I'd be interested in.

These are the list of animes that I've been watching:

• Glasslip「グラスリップ」
• Re:_Hamatora 「Re:＿ハマトラ」
• Akame Ga Kill!「アカメが斬る」
• Free! Eternal Summer
• Bakumatsu Rock「幕末Rock」
• Nobunaga Concerto「信長協奏曲」
• M3: Sono Kuroki Hagane 「M3〜ソノ黒キ鋼〜」(Spring 2014)
• Amatsuki 「あまつき」(Spring 2008)
• Tokyo Ghoul「東京喰種-トーキョーグール」
• Zankyou no Terror「残響のテロル」
• Ao Haru Ride「アオハライド」

M3: Sono Kuroki Hagane hasn't ended so I'm continuing the series because it's too intriguing! Thankfully, the story had finally started to unfold. Amatsuki is something I stumbled upon when I was in search for more Bakumatsu period animes. I've always been into samurai/ninja or the Edo period of Japanese history. But recently, I've been really into Bakumatsu period animes and almost anything that says 'Shinsengumi'. That also explains why I'm watching 'Bakumatsu Rock' and 'Nobunaga Concerto'. Though, honestly, I had second thoughts about watching those two animes but actually, they aren't as bad as I thought they would be. Especially Nobunaga Concerto! Also, I'm in love with Souji's solo song in Bakumatsu Rock. The rest are just alright, not too bad. but they didn't make it to my favourites' list.

Out of the whole list that I've stated, my favourite has to be 'Tokyo Ghoul', 'Zankyou no Terror' and 'Ao Haru Ride'.
I really couldn't wait for the next episode of Tokyo Ghoul so I've started reading the manga. I don't think there is much surprise that I'm in love with 'Ao Haru Ride' anime because it's shoujo genre. I love my shoujo mangas! I've also read the manga and it is really awesome. Even though I sort of dislike how Kou is acting, I can't hate him entirely because I understand his stand as well. I have a love/hate relationship with people like Kou. If anyone has a personality like Kou, don't talk to me because I might fall in love.

These are the films that I've watched recently:

• Fuse:Teppou Musume No Torimonochou 「伏 鉄砲娘の捕物帳」(anime)
• Hotarubi no mori e 「蛍火の杜へ」(anime)
• Sukitte ii nayo 「好きっていいなよ」
• Hot Road 「ホットロード」
• Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno 「るろうに剣心 京都大火編」

The two anime films that I stumbled upon, wasn't half bad. Simple 'forbidden love' sort of story. Makes me feel kind of sad but yet happy. I guess, this is what people like to call it as, bittersweet love? I honestly don't know but it's worth watching in my opinion.

My favourite has to be 'Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno' and 'Hot Road'!

Rurouni Kenshin is a classic anime/manga which I believe any real anime or manga lover would have read or watched the series. It also screams childhood! I am so proud that the anime was part of my childhood and now the live action movie is going to be part of my early adulthood. Hot Road is a real simple love story that really touched my heart. I think the more tear jerking scene was when Kazuki was talking to her mother instead of the love between Kazuki and Haruyama. 

I was really disappointed with 'Sukitte ii nayo'. Firstly, I am a huge fan of the manga and the anime. Without a doubt, I'd be looking forward to the live action movie, and have high expectations on it. Just after about 15 minutes into the movie, I felt like leaving the theatres already. This is just my personal opinion on it but I think it was really badly done. Even Emily, who did not read the manga nor watch the anime, was disappointed in the movie.


Anyways, that's what I've been doing most of the time ever since my summer holidays started. Yup, really busy watching animes and heading to the movie theatres. Well, at least this is my way of revising my Japanese.  Let me know if I missed out any good ones that I SHOULD be watching. lol.

A day out with Emily

Yesterday, I met up with my best friend, Emily, whom I haven't seen in a few months ever since school started for me. She was busy showing her mother around Tokyo last week so we couldn't meet up earlier. The weather was really nice too which made the whole outing a lot more enjoyable because we didn't have to complain about how hot it is.

Before heading to the movie theatre, we met up a little earlier to have lunch and probably do a little shopping since we've already bought the tickets online. We had lunch, yet again, at this place called 'Bikkuri Donkey' びっくりドンキー. I really like the curry and hamburg there. We still have about an hour before the movie start so we headed off to Bic Camera after lunch. It's an electronic store where i usually get my stuff, very convenient! I've been contemplating for a while now but I've decided to get a camera tripod so I can do more videos and perhaps take photos or something. After getting the stuff we need from Bic Camera, we headed off to the Kinokuniya to look at some books. I ended up getting a book called 'The Book of English Magic'. I've always been interested in alchemy and magical things so I was thinking, why not.

After buying our stuff, we headed to the cinema. We watched a movie called 'Hot Road' 「ホットロード」 . This is a live action movie based off a really old manga about a girl named Kazuki, who felt unloved and ends up falling in love delinquent named Haruyama. I find that this film to be simple yet captivating. I also really like how they filmed scenery in Enoshima. That sort of made Emily and I want to visit Enoshima again. Actually, we're already in the process of planning our trip to Enoshima soon. (And perhaps have a chance to re-live some memories of the movie) I'd totally recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys simple romance story!

The theme song for the movie was also really soothing to the ears. It was by a singer called, Yutaka Ozaki, who is no longer around anymore but his songs are still famous and covered by many artists. I love the song 'Oh My Little Girl'. I believe he has many fantastic songs but I'm currently hooked onto this, also because it reminds me of the beautiful scenes from the movie. Maybe this is only me, but I think oldies are always awesome to listen to. Maybe because they bring back wonderful memories from the past or something.

Dinner at Muji Cafe with Emily
16th August 2014

Anyways, after watching the movie, we decided to have dinner before heading home. Without thinking much, we decided to head to Muji Cafe「無地カフェ」because it was conveniently at B1 of the same building where we watched the movie. Muji cafe serves delicious food and has an conducive environment for chilling so we really like the place!
We couldn't stop talking about the movie afterwards because it was really that good. Also, I personally think that Hiroomi, from 三代目 J Soul Brothers, who acted as Haruyama has really neat eyebrows! I've been wondering to myself throughout the whole movie that he has really neat looking eyebrows that I'm actually feeling envious and insecure about my own eyebrows!

We took the same train home and parted ways after we reach our stops. This is the funny part of the whole 'day out'. I was walking down the stairs to leave the train station and I fell off the stairs. I didn't exactly roll off the stairs but I did fell. This is what happened...

I was too preoccupied with my phone because I was texting Emily how I enjoyed today. I think it's a Japanese thing to tell the other party how you enjoyed the day. Y'know, the usual 「今日は楽しかった。また遊ぼうね！」 But heck, we're not even Japanese but we get used to the custom. Anyways, so I thought I was on my last step of the flight of stairs but I didn't realize it was actually my last second step. So, I slipped and landed in a position like as if I was kneeling on one leg. Like, I was about to propose to someone, without my hands sticking out. One hand, I was holding my phone and the other with a huge paper bag with the things I bought. So, I landed with a flop and I went, “shit!" And well, in Japan, it’s still not common where people go around saying "shit" so i had stares but I got up gracefully and walked away pretending nothing happened. Like a boss.

I landed with a flop and walked off gracefully like a boss - The highlight of the day! I won't say I'm not embarrassed but I was thinking, 'Stay calm and walk away'. What else can I do at that moment? I mean, really. I can either continue to embarrass myself or walk away like nothing happened. Everyone has embarrassing moments once in a while in life, and this is mine for summer 2014. lol.

I need to get my shit together.

12th August 2014
Piglet by the window

As much as I prefer to stay indoors, I can't. Because if I were to stay indoors and away from the sun for a some time, my thoughts and mood will get gloomy and messed up. I will think of nothing but failure and mentally prepare myself for the worst that might happen. Though, I'm not sure what sure what exactly.

Last few nights, I've been mentally preparing myself to face more rejections from university applications. I even had dreams related to universities. Thankfully, it didn't show any signs of me failing. In fact, I got in and was a student studying there already. But I'm not sure which school it is. My friend even got a short cameo appearance in it. Nope, I did not even get a chance to say hello because I was too surprised that I woke up from my dream straight after. Well, I would not say it's bad to be mentally preparing myself for the worst, but I really need to keep my motivation high to prepare myself for the autumn semester coming next month.

Last night, I realized I need to get my shit together. Instead of worrying about the unknown, I'm going to go straight to the problem and tackle it, and hopefully I get a good reply. I sent out some enquiry emails to the few universities that I'm hoping to get in. Now, I'm just anxiously awaiting a reply email from the schools saying "Yes, you can".

Before I started realizing that it's getting bad again, I tried to diverge my attention to playing RPG games. I also finally ironed my clothes that have been lying in the corner of my room. But when all of that didn't help anymore, I told myself I have got to do something, and I did. After I send out those emails, I had a pleasant sleep this morning at 4am because I felt really tired and relieved.

Just to make sure I stop having negative thoughts, I went out to do some grocery shopping. It gives me a reason to breathe in some fresh air and let the sunlight improve my mood a little. It's strange because I don't really like the sun because they give me sunburn. But I can't hate it because it helps to improve my mood too. Also, I like grocery shopping. I feel a lot better now that I can actually write something and materialize my thoughts.

PS: I'm looking forward to Autumn because I miss my sweaters, jeans, beanie and boots!

Vlog: Fireworks Festival with my mates!

I took about six hours to edit a vlog on the fireworks festival I attended with my friends from college. I didn't expect to finish it that fast. I thought I will take perhaps the whole day to edit this because I have not touched my video editing software for a long time. Anyways, I enjoyed the whole process of it. This video was taken with my Olympus PEN E-P1 camera. I'm still not used to this camera's function, but I'm getting better at it.

This was the Koutou Fireworks Festival 「江東花火大会」 . I didn't write a blog post about it because its sort of the same as the Itabashi Fireworks Festival, and the only difference was the friends I went with. I had more fun the second time because I got to enjoy the fireworks from a closer view and we also had time visit the stalls selling food! Also, since i've decided on making a vlog about it, I might as well wait til I'm done with this video right? After the fireworks, around 5mins 45secs, there are some goofy scenes that I've decided to add because I am usually really goofy with I'm with my mates. Also, you guys can actually hear me speak some Japanese! Now I can look back and think of summer as something enjoyable just by looking at this video. Everyone was smiling and having fun. My friends are so adorable, I want to bring them all home!! :P

I'm into my second week of my summer holidays. It has been great so far. Due to the typhoon that was approaching, the strong wind and rain yesterday was pretty terrifying. But I was indoors the whole time so I'm safe. Recently, I've stumbled upon another RPG game called 'Mana Khemia' and I've been hooked onto it! I love this game! Til next time.

Love,
C

Good news came in the mail!

Awkward smile
31st July 2014

I went out to check the mailbox after I received news that our results from the previous semester was in. Yes, I was really nervous yet excited. The moment I opened the letter and looked at my results, I burst out screaming. I was elated. I couldn't believe that I managed to do so well in all my classes! I'm still smiling to myself silly as I'm typing this down, trying to recall what exactly happened. I didn't even check my GPA until after I calmed down because I really could not believe it. For someone who had continuous bad results since primary school... This is a huge achievement! Also, I managed to make it to the dean's list and increased my GPA from the previous semester. If I manage to keep this up until the application period, attaining my seemingly impossible goal might just be possible. I'm not sure about the details yet but I'm trying to stay positive.

Oh! And a day early 'Happy Birthday' wish to my home country, Singapore!

PS:イギリスの大学の申し込みは複雑すぎて、分かりにくい！誰かー！助けてくれないか・・・？！

Getting to Know Myself

Sunset taken somewhere near by my apartment.
6th of August

This is a post inspired by a blog post, "Getting To Know Myself", written by one of my mates, Edna. She, like me, went abroad to study language and fulfill part of our seemingly ambitious dream. She made it to Seoul, Korea, and I made it to Tokyo, Japan. She is now back in Singapore doing youtube videos (username bloodfest91) , mainly dance covers. Go check her out if you like kpop!

A few days ago, I had this conversation with one of my best friends, Pauline, aka my mentor. I was updating her with some of my plans, how I feel about certain things, my thoughts, people whom I've met and the things that happened since the last time we've talked. She just commented that I've grown up. Like, more than before, which makes me really happy. She also said that comparing with, perhaps, my peers, I might be one of those few who mature, mentally, faster. I can't disagree on that because I really can't find any of my friends who are of my age, who could give me the advices I need in life. Most of the time, they would either just say, 'good luck! I know you can do it', or 'I see. Knowing you, you'll be able to overcome it'. I'm honestly really thankful to have that mental support but I would prefer if there was a direction given. Like a legit advice based on experience. Like, if I were to choose this path what might be the possible outcome? I need such advices because I don't have room to make unnecessary mistakes. I'm an adult and I have to be responsible for my own choices. That is life and I accept that challenge.

After coming to Tokyo, Japan, for about a year and a half, I realized that I learnt to like myself a lot better. I still have insecurities but they are slowly getting better. These are the few things that I've realized and fully accepted.

I'm going to embrace inner beauty
An interesting personality and a kind heart is thousand times better than someone who has a hot body. When I was younger, I am always insecure about how I looked. People around me are always taller than 5ft 1, nicer facial features, popular, pretty and have tons of boyfriends. I was always the outcast. I am always the short one, has the 'always pissed off' look, not popular, always the cute but not the pretty and no boyfriends. Working in the AKBcafe in Singapore did not really help either because being in front of the public eyes can be quite intimidating. Also, I'm working with people who are much more prettier and cuter than I am. So I tried really hard to dress up to be 'pretty' and 'cute'. But that didn't really work out.

On that one fateful day, I realized that no one really cares. I'm average, that's totally cool. I'm 5ft 1, so what? At least it gives me all the reason to wear high heels and mini skirts! And, there are more important things than all the other superficial things in life. Besides, looks can be deceiving. I really think that if anyone who has an interesting personality will instantly get my attention. Someone who has charisma just seems more attractive. Instead of trying to look pretty, I'm now aiming to have more self-confidence. Like, having a confident smile and improve my interpersonal skills! I believe that is very important to help me succeed in life. Besides, one day I'll grow old too and that outer beauty won't last. I'd rather have a inner beauty that can last me until the day of my death bed. At least people will be able to say nicer things on the day of my funeral.

I'm ready to commit myself into a relationship
I won't say I 'need' a boyfriend but I do 'want' a boyfriend now. When I say I want a boyfriend, it simply means I'm ready to have another commitment in life and extra responsibility. I did manage to have a few relationships but none of them worked out. They were really short relationships too. Looking back, I think it was because I just have too many goals that I want to achieve at that point to really want to commit to anything. I use to think that relationships can hold me back from achieving what I want. Also, I believe that since I can't handle and be responsible for myself and my own life, how can I be responsible for my other half? I mean, I won't want a relationship where it's too one sided, where the boyfriend will be doing all the giving and I'm just receiving all the care and love. A balanced relationship where there is give and take, seems to be much more enjoyable and longer-lasting. I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of it.

Just recently, I realized that I am pretty contented with my life and I am much more responsible than before. Also, I have completed almost half of my life ambitions and perhaps, dropped a few. I'm just left with the final few goals which is attainable with or without a boyfriend. And, since I can handle most part of my life pretty well, I'm ready to take on that extra responsibility to take care and share my life with the significant other. But, I'm not saying I'm ready to settle down and have a family because that's a totally different story. But with that said, I'm also not going to settle just for any person. A little old and traditional but I hope that my future boyfriend will be 'the one'.

I am starting to accept everything about myself
Recently, I've learnt to embrace the positive and negative traits about myself. I use to 'try' to have a different personas and see which one suits me more. That's also why I had so many different nicknames before. (Ahh... so embarrassing! （*/∇＼*）) I tried to dress differently and act differently to fit in with the people around me. I also hated my name and how 'young' I looked from my actual age. There are many things I hated but I'm not going to list them down because it's embarrassing. I also have so many negative traits about myself that I've tried to change. Note: tried.

I have officially outgrown and learnt to accept and love my real name. Chisaki is the most recent name and the second name that I've stuck to for a long time because of work and people say it's much easier to remember. I've decided to come clean and tell people my real name. Also, I mentioned before, I've learnt to accept how I look. Instead of disliking how 'young' I look from my actual age, I should totally embrace the youth that I still have because I'm not going to get any younger. And, I learnt to not hate and accept people for their differences, look at everything at a holistic view and think like an anthropologist. As for my bad traits, I'm still lazy, not very smart and also indecisive. But to counter that, I know that I am passionate and hardworking. Instead of saying I'm stubborn, I'll say I'm a determined. Even though some can sound pretty bad, but they are still part of what makes me who I am. If I don't start to love me for who I am, how can anyone else like me for who I am too? See why point number #2 comes into play? Yes. :)

***

I think there are still quite a lot of things I've realized but I can't think of any now. I'm also not going to stop finding and improving myself. This is perhaps the beginning of the next stage in my life. I'm not sure what stage exactly but I know I'm moving forward. All of these are part of what it means to 'grow up and know myself' right?

PS: I've just completed Kirigakure Kuroudo's story in the Otome Game called "Shinobi Koiutsutsu" 「忍び恋うつつ」. I'm still thinking if I should do a review of it. It might expose my inner otaku fangirl. Haha. Ciaos.

Fireworks Festival with my mates!

Itabashi Fireworks Festival 2014
板橋花火大会 2014
2nd of August

I spent my Saturday night with my mates from Singapore. It was actually an outing planned out by the SSAJ(Singapore Student Association Japan). I'm usually not interested in all this sort of association and whatsnot but it's really not as bad as I thought it would be. Everyone is nice and friendly! I even got a chance to have some home-made prata. I was craving for some local food so I'm glad they put in effort to make the prata. It's really the thought that counts right? :)

It was a long walk from the Ukima-Funado station (浮間舟渡駅) to where the fireworks festival will be held. The weather was also really warm and humid so it didn't make the whole journey any comfortable. There were a lot of people I didn't know so it was really awkward in the beginning but I think I hid it well. I try to keep my smile on every time I meet new people. Thankfully I got to know some people a little better by the end of the event. I hope to be able to meet them again for the next event!

The fireworks lasted for about an hour. I was busy snapping away and taking some videos of the fireworks. This was one of the better ones from my camera. I got to learn how to count the distance from me to the fireworks. I had a fun time counting even though it might make me look a little silly. I think that it's fascinating how the Japanese would gather together and enjoy fireworks together. The whole atmosphere was amazing! Everyone went 'すごい sugoi (amazing)' or 'きれい kirei (beautiful)' at the same time! This is definitely one of the better things about the infamous summer of Japan.

A short 30secs video of the fireworks made with Road Movies app. :)

I just found a new Otome Game called 'Shinobi Koiutsutsu'「忍び恋うつつ」 for PSP. I think I'll be busy for awhile. :)


Love,
C

Adventures in my Head: Strange encounters

I had a really awesome dream earlier today. It's really strange yet, I woke up feeling really good.

The setting was at old and dirty warehouse but it was actually an arts university. It was some trial class and interview session for an arts major that I applied for. I got bored waiting in the waiting room with all the other students so I decided to explore the school while there was still time. I stumbled upon this seemingly abandoned courtyard. In the middle, lies a huge, non-functioning old and dirty fountain. I'm usually not a brave person in real life but in my dreams, I'm always brave and adventurous. So, I decided to walk towards the old fountain to examine the Romanesque style decorations. All of a sudden, a huge dragon came out of nowhere and started chasing me. Instead of fighting back like what heroes do, I ran for my life because that was the only thing I could do. I ran all the way back to the waiting room where all the other students were. Apparently, I wasn't the only one in cold sweat and out of breath. To my surprise, one of my schoolmates, Martin, was also there. We exchanged looks for a bit and greeted each other. A few minutes later, the headmistress came into the room asking us to go in one by one to her office so she could do an interview with us. The headmistress looks like a modernized version of yubaba from 'Spirited Away'. She had with a different hairstyle and looked less intimidating . She also had white curly bob instead of the bun-up hairstyle. Fashionable. It wasn't long until it was my turn. I was still trying to recover from the horrible encounter at the courtyard. I stood up, trying to make myself look calm and neat and slowly wobbled my way towards the door.

As I touched the door knob, Martin called out to me, "You'll be fine."

I gave him a thumbs up, took a deep breath and turn the door knob. I entered the room, greeted and sat down. She did not seem to be surprised that I was in cold sweat and breathless.

She just replied, "You seem to have had quite an adventure."

I simply nodded and waited for further instructions. She started asking me some questions about myself without looking at me and I answered them. After answering all those mundane questions she finally looked up and asked, "Tell me about the adventure you had earlier".

My eyes widen and replied, "I don't think you'd wouldn't believe it if I told you."

She smiled and told me that if I don't tell her about it, I may not be able to pass this interview. I do not want to fail the interview so I explained what happened to her. Apparently, that whole 'adventure' experience was something that this 'magical arts school' had. If the student was creative enough, strange and magical things would happen. Depending on what sort of 'magical or strange' experience, it will allow the school to know which major is more suitable for the student and the level of creativity the student has.

I woke up from this amazing yet strange dream shortly after explaining and understanding the whole reason for that 'dragon chasing me' experience I had. Sadly, I didn't know what major I ended up taking and I didn't know why my schoolmate was in my dream. It's not like we're really close, and we only had anthropology class together this whole semester. Despite the how strange this whole dream was, it is definitely worth remembering because it has been awhile since I had dreams like that.

I've decided to start a "Adventures in my Head" series on my blog writing about the dreams I had. Perhaps one day, I'll be able to write a whole fantasy novel. lol. Not going to happen. If I have to face a dragon to be accepted in an arts university, I'd rather not.

Cool Kids by Echosmith

He sees them talking with a big smile, but they haven't got a clue

Yeah, they're living the good life, can't see what he is going through

They're driving fast cars, but they don't know where they're going

In the fast lane, living life without knowing

And he says

I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in

I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids

I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to get it

Love,
C

Two more weeks to Summer Holidays!

Rockin' the sleeveless black and white stripe dress while embracing my flabby arms.
22th July 2014

So, I don't usually wear sleeveless tops or dresses because I feel insecure about my arms. They are not toned anymore because I have not been exercising or hitting the gym like I should. But I think I totally rocked the sleeveless look (or not). My eyes are a little puffier than they should so I decided to crop half my face away. It's just the side effects of not giving my tiny eyes enough rest.

Well, I think I've unlocked a new achievement. I managed to compete 3 research papers in 3 days. One of them, I've been working hard on it since June so I suppose that doesn't count. I worked really hard on that paper because I'm doing a topic that I'm interested in. I also want to prove to myself that I'm not a bad writer and I haven't lost my touch on writing. I just got to practice a little to get everything back!

My ethnography report for Anthropology was also interesting because I'm doing something more personal. I glad I did that because I learnt more about myself. Though, I must say that wasn't the most professional report because we're not taught exactly how to do a professional one. It's all for experience since it is just an introductory module.

The third report was horrible though. It got rejected once and I had to revise it. To be honest, I didn't think I revised much of it because I still think that it's a horrible term paper report. I'm not much of a history person anyways because I always have the thought that the actual events that happened in history might be different from what was taught. I mean, humans do have selective memory. I'm one good example; I don't remember half of what happen in primary school! So, what makes historians so different? It's not like they had recording devices back then to record everything. It's all just interpretations from what was left over, isn't it? Honestly, I don't know.

Now, I'm down to the final one, my research proposal for Sociology. I also have to tackle finals next week. Actually... Mine starts this Thursday. Boo. Looking on the bright side, I can have a little breather now that I've finished 3/4 of my assignments. I gotta stay positive. *nods nods*

I really cannot wait for summer holidays. I've been seeing more people on the streets wearing yukata. I want to wear a yukata too! I have to buy one! I left mine back in Singapore and I want a new one. Preferably a red coloured yukata because I think I'll look good in red rather than pink. I want to drop the "cute" image and go for something a little more mature. I'm trying my best-est to look and dress my age.

Speaking about dressing, I've been wearing dresses/skirts more often. I actually feel comfortable in dresses and skirts now. I used to be insecure about wearing dresses because I don't want to be "too girly". It's funny because I am a girl/lady so I don't understand why I even felt insecure about wearing them before. Maybe my female hormones are finally doing their job. Ha.

Love,
C

Windows by Lewis Watson

I stumbled on this song when I was surfing the web. Brilliant song. Really relaxing.


Good News: I finally finished a research paper that I've been working on since a month ago.

Bad News: One of my other term paper report was rejected by my professor and now I got to re-do it. Well, on the bright side, at least I got a deadline extension.

Love,
C

We Are Young by Fun

Another song that isn't very new but I really like it. I would like to believe that I'm still young. School's a bitch.

Love,
C