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| 12th August 2014 Piglet by the window |
As much as I prefer to stay indoors, I can't. Because if I were to stay indoors and away from the sun for a some time, my thoughts and mood will get gloomy and messed up. I will think of nothing but failure and mentally prepare myself for the worst that might happen. Though, I'm not sure what sure what exactly.
Last few nights, I've been mentally preparing myself to face more rejections from university applications. I even had dreams related to universities. Thankfully, it didn't show any signs of me failing. In fact, I got in and was a student studying there already. But I'm not sure which school it is. My friend even got a short cameo appearance in it. Nope, I did not even get a chance to say hello because I was too surprised that I woke up from my dream straight after. Well, I would not say it's bad to be mentally preparing myself for the worst, but I really need to keep my motivation high to prepare myself for the autumn semester coming next month.
Last night, I realized I need to get my shit together. Instead of worrying about the unknown, I'm going to go straight to the problem and tackle it, and hopefully I get a good reply. I sent out some enquiry emails to the few universities that I'm hoping to get in. Now, I'm just anxiously awaiting a reply email from the schools saying "Yes, you can".
Before I started realizing that it's getting bad again, I tried to diverge my attention to playing RPG games. I also finally ironed my clothes that have been lying in the corner of my room. But when all of that didn't help anymore, I told myself I have got to do something, and I did. After I send out those emails, I had a pleasant sleep this morning at 4am because I felt really tired and relieved.
Just to make sure I stop having negative thoughts, I went out to do some grocery shopping. It gives me a reason to breathe in some fresh air and let the sunlight improve my mood a little. It's strange because I don't really like the sun because they give me sunburn. But I can't hate it because it helps to improve my mood too. Also, I like grocery shopping. I feel a lot better now that I can actually write something and materialize my thoughts.
PS: I'm looking forward to Autumn because I miss my sweaters, jeans, beanie and boots!
Aw :( I'm so sorry. I'm actually now having issues trying to get to a college myself. I've been working my but off for 6 months to get in. By the last minute the school staff tells me I can't get in because I lack one of the requirements (which is bs because they already made it clear to me they'd give an acception on my part because personal things happen to my life.) Even my father is upset, and wants to confront the school soon.
ReplyDeleteKeep yourself active, and keep applying for potential universities that you can get in. Don't give up!
http://tabachui.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry to hear about that. Applications for school can be such a hassle. I hope everything will go well for you! What about other colleges?
DeleteThanks, I'm hoping for the best and trying my best! Applications in the UK seems to be much more troublesome than applying in the US.
Yes, I'm trying to enter a bigger campus (University of Central Florida) and I have to pass the ACT.
DeleteKeep your head high because life has so much to offer :) Also, I miss Japan haha.