Twisted Wallflower

Hello.

It has been awhile since I did those kind of OOTDs. Simple for summer because I can't wear double layers out in summer. This is just the beginning of summer and I know it's going to get even hotter from now on.

23-06-2013
OOTD 9#

As you can see, I sort of changed my layout for my blog so everything looks more compact. Not sure if it's a good thing but I don't like having too much extra spaces. My laptop's a wide screen so it's hard to judge.

Anyways, I've started watching this new American drama called, "Twisted". It's pretty good in my opinion. I'm currently at episode 2 because it's still new. It's more of a mystery genre if I'm not wrong. I'm bad with categorizing things into it's correct genre.

I've been blogging a lot more on daily basis because I'm really bored and when I have practically nothing to do, I will start to think and reflect. I guess that's why I like to keep myself busy.

Reading books, watching possible shows on the internet hoping it would enlighten me to think there is more to life than it all really is. I ended up picking up ShiroPi, my guitar, again is strumming a little and playing a few songs. It never felt better. The refreshing sound of an acoustic guitar. Oh how much I missed it.

23-06-2013
Meiji Jingu Shrine on a hot sunday morning.

Remember when I said I went to Meiji Jingu Shrine last sunday? Here's a photo of it, taken by yours truly. Look at the crowd! I guess I really underestimated the word, "weekend".

Initially, I wanted intended to head down to a bookstore to look for books that might help me in my revision but I woke up this morning thinking I should push back my plans for today. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day for me to head out.

I stayed at home, played games, had lunch and breakfast and a really early light dinner at around 6pm. I re-watched "The Perks of being a Wallflower" while having my dinner. I swear it's a beautiful movie. I bought the book after watching the movie the first time but I didn't bring it over with me to Japan. Big regret. I remembered telling myself to bring it no matter what but I'm not sure why I ended up not bringing it at all. I wonder why. Probably because I thought I wouldn't miss it.

I shall head off for a quick shower and probably play some games on my laptop. Cheers.

Shopping & Sukiyaki!

Hello. Good day. It's a monday, but I'm not feeling the Monday blues because I'm having school holidays right now.

I'll show you a little of what I did yesterday. The sun was blazing though, each time I look at myself in the mirror, I thought, "I grew tanner". Perhaps it's time to invest in whitening creams. Never had I imagined I needed it. Maybe things will change after Summer. I'm not a summer person afterall. I was told by Shizuka that she is a Spring baby according to her horoscope that's why she loves spring. I am an Autumn baby that's why I can appreciate the leaves falling from the trees. Such beauty. But yes, I do love winter as well. So much that I have yet to see my first official land full of snow. I'll make that as one of my small goals in life. :)

Anyways, I went down to Harajuku's Meiji Shrine to do some praying for my dear friend, Crystal. Some pretty personal matters, which I would not say it here.

Then, I thought, since I'm already in Harajuku, the only best way to spend my time is to do some shopping. I've been thinking of pampering myself afterall. I also think I needed some new clothes and new wardrobe change. I'm doing the transition slowly though.

Loots from Forever21 and the neon orangey pink top from GAP
23/06/2013

I really like the materials of the two tops I got though. It's so soft and light. I don't like clothes that is too thick in materials. So usually when I go shopping, I see I shirt that caught my eye, the first thing I would do is touch the shirt for the material. But it's a pretty bad habit though. lol.
I also really like what's written on the shirt on the left from Forever21, "Peace, Love, Rock & Roll." haha. Somehow I think it shows a little of my personality? :P

The top from GAP on the right, is the brightest color I'll ever own. Never actually thought I would buy such a bright color but I was thinking, "what the heck. It's never too late to try something new."

The black shorts and new demin shorts I got from Forever21. I thought i needed new shorts because I'm really lacking in them. Sad to say, most of them are getting too big for me. I managed to buy a size smaller than the one I usually buy. Does this mean I've officially slimmed down? Whoopie!

I tried walking around the other shops in Harajuku though but the sizes are all too big. The stuff in Forever21 and GAP are even cheaper because they are having sales. Which is a double "Yay" for me.

Since I was bored, I thought I should ask my classmates out for dinner. Afterall, having dinner alone is pretty sad. Also, since I'm already out in town, I should just spend the rest of the night out in town as well. So, we had Sukiyaki for dinner at Ikebukuro, where there is an "all-you-can-eat" sukiyaki for just 2000yen! Pretty awesome huh?

23/06/2013

Sorry, no pictures of the meat because we're all too hungry. I was really hungry as well because I only had a homemade tuna sandwich for breakfast.

As we're eating, I'm very used to the talking while eating so it would make eating a meal together more fun instead of just silent awkward dining. Being me, I would make all sorts of random topics and tell them random stuff. Just for entertainment purposes, well, no doubt those are facts too. lol. It was fun though. Been a while since I felt so tired after having fun.

I guess retail therapy always works best.

Time for a relaxing Monday. I gotta head down to Family Mart to print something later and send ut an email. I'll do it at night when the sun is down. I can't afford to get any tanner. I don't wish to either.

What's the next step to take?

Hello.

Good news to bring to you guys. I passed my end term exam!

I manage to pass with at least 70% on my oral exam, listening, grammar and vocabulary. Man.. I was so worried about it. At least one worry down so I can play all I want this coming holiday! To be honest, I really wished I did better though. I don't know why but somehow I just can't pass the 80% mark. Even when I was in secondary school, the most I ever got for my best subject, is 79 points! Like.. what?! Just give me the 1 point already!!

Actually, now, I'm only worried whether there is a class change in the next term. I really like my classmates, I really hope to stay with them until graduation. I don't want a repeat of history where I have to change class every term and everyday. Then I really won't have any real good friends then. But I did manage to find real good buddies during my final year.

Though, I think I still don't have a good buddy in my class yet. I feel pretty left out still. Though I can speak the same language, doesn't mean I'm the same. Sad truth about reality. I try hard to fit in and speak chinese but I guess sometimes I can't help but feel like the effort I put in goes to nothing. I still try to tell myself, maybe I'm not working hard enough to bond with them.

But sometimes I can't help thinking to myself if I'm lying to myself. lol.

19/06/2013

I've been looking at this university's degree course called, Communication with Psychology. It's a mix of what i want to learn. I'm always thinking between mass communication or psychology. I love both just as much and I'm always worrying if I would regret not taking up either one because I can only choose one.

Looking at this course really tempts me. But sadly, there isn't a course like this in Japan. It's really either I take up Psychology or Communication. There is much schools to choose from if I were to take up Psychology as well.

Honestly, I don't have the confidence in passing the EJU either. It seems really difficult and I'm at a losing end for sure because I haven't touched all the other subjects for a really long time. Learning them again seems impossible. It's not exactly impossible but I will have to work really hard to remember what I learnt previously. I'm not sure I'll even be able to do all that either.

I haven't really thought about my future or what I want to do with my life back then. I also didn't really bother with studies. I think it's also because my parents really gave me a lot of freedom as to what I want to do with my life and with what I want to study. So much that I began making decisions myself when I was younger, but also sometimes not knowing whether it's right or wrong, I'll just go do it. I will just have to face with whatever that comes along after, be it good or bad.

Though, to be honest, I did plan for this study abroad but I guess I didn't anticipate that I would pause and start thinking what's my next step. I tried to ask my mom for advice but I hardly ever got any. All my mom ever told me was to take things one at a time and think about it when it comes. But knowing myself, I always like to plan ahead just in case anything were to happen, I can still change my route. So, sometimes I really can't help being a worry-head.

Bad habits are hard to change y'know?

Pizza for you? lol.

After this week, I'll be having about 1 and a half week of holidays before the new term starts.

But you know, the end term test is pretty much a killer for me. It's not super difficult but you know, it will be when you blank out during the test. Something you wish it never happens to you. It's awfully bad for me though. I predict, I could probably get at least 50% of the paper correct but I need to get 70% in order to be counted as a pass. I need all the luck I can get.

I was feeling really depressed after the test though. No kidding. I couldn't even concentrate during the last period in class. I was like in a total daze. I'm in the "blame myself" kind of mood. Well, my dear friend, Stella, tells me that I put pressure on myself too much. Well, I receive that kind of comment quite a lot. Recently, a little too much.

So, I went to play darts and billiard with my classmates after school. I really need to relief this stress. Though I know I shouldn't be spending as much but if I don't do something I'll probably go mad. Bad habits are hard to kill. No joke. I even went with them to have Pizza for dinner and I had a cup of beer. So it can help me sleep better for the night.

18/06/2013
Pepperoni Pizza!! nomnom

Oh yes, I can have my lovely pepperoni pizza! It has been a long long while since I had it. The last time I had it and first time I had it was during last year's halloween party with Sir and gang. lol.

We went back after dinner at around 10pm since it was the last order so we just paid the bill and left. My initial plan was to head home and sleep straight away but I ended up writing this up.

Before that, I was on the phone with my dear friend, Shizuka, while I walked back home feeling awfully sleepy until the point I couldn't walk straight. But you know when you're with your friends, you'll just be awake straight away.

After I hung up, I was on the phone with my other dear friend, Crystal. I'm sorry about the news, I really want to be there with you.

Crystal is a very special friend to me. It was because of her that I could have the courage to come to Japan to study because the initial plan was to go with her. However, due to certain unforeseen circumstances, things became as such. She gave me a lot of courage and confidence to do a lot of things. She is one of my inspirations in life. If I were to do anything, I want her to be the first few to know.

We talked about quite a lot of noglastic stuff. The days we were in Japan and at Arashi's 5x10 concert and all the other stuff. Totally reminded me why I like Japan and about why I like Arashi and idols and stuff. Sometimes I guess idol songs can be irritating because they basically say the same things. But for Arashi's songs, it's different that's why they are special. Besides the Hana Yori Dango times when they keep spamming love songs, there are times when it's about friendship, life or a mix of love and friendship. Just gives a lot of hope in a more gentle way instead of the direct "I love you" sort of way. Perhaps, it's a more mature way of putting things? For example, "Be with you", or "Tomadoi Nagara".

Well, besides being able to understand the song better because of the level up in my language proficiency, it's probably because I've been through those times so I can really understand and relate to them well.

17/06/2013
Macha Frappucino

Oh yes, I finally had my Macha Frappucino on Monday. I was kinda craving for it since it has been quite a long while since I had it. Crystal introduced this drink to me as well. Knowing I don't like coffee but she's a fan of starbucks and coffee, so wanting me to join in as well, this is what she introduced. lol. I love it! haha. Only drink i will ever order in starbucks!

We spoke in Japanese throughout the conversation, which I'm really happy about. Mainly because I haven't really got a chance to speak out in Japanese yet. Even if I try to with my classmates. I also like the way Crystal speak japanese though. Or at least how our conversation can run. It's like a mix of boy-ish style into it. Whatever you can hear in Arashi's variety shows, you can hear it in our conversation. I don't have to bother much about the formalities and stuff. lol.

So many thoughts overflowing right now, I don't even know what to write. I even went to download some Arashi songs back into my playlist. I'm listening to it as I'm writing now. Well, previously I removed every JE song you can find in my playlist and changed it into a rock playlist. lol.

Right now.. I'm talking with my friend Joseph, as I'm writing and ending this off.. He's trying to make me crave for food just because he is. Well, not gonna happen. At least, not today or anything. The conversation is getting pretty epic. I should concentrate on the conversation and stop here. But no wait, I should head to bed because it's already 3am here and I got school tomorrow. Somehow or rather, today felt like a Friday because exams are over.

Oh yes, my lovely friends back in Singapore, please take care and drink water! Wear mask out if you have to, to escape from the awful haze! Though, it's even worst in China, according to my friends from china.


Love you guys! xoxo.

What a lazy random Saturday..

Hello.

Just popped in a fresh breath mint because I want to feel all refreshed and minty after my afternoon shower. I the feeling of being all clean and fresh.

It's about 27 degrees celsius here in Tokyo, Japan. It was suppose to be raining for this whole week, but surprisingly, it wasn't raining yesterday and today. But according to the weather forecast on my iphone 5, it says it's going to rain in the evening. I took the liberty to quickly do my laundry last night because I really don't know when it will start raining again. So, my clothes are stacked up at one corner of my house waiting for me to iron it. I think I'll get it done before I head to bed later tonight.

Oh? Wondering why I'm here writing instead of studying? Well, it's those procrastinating periods in your life which you won't regret doing. Since I've well accepted certain realities in my life right now, I can even start disturbing my classmates. I get bored really easily nowadays. Sorry if my friends have to endure my silly messages asking if they are bored or not. Not the best way to start a conversation huh?

14.06.2013
Having dinner date with Cony.

Anyways, I was in a good mood yesterday so I managed to cook up something really yummy. Oh, this photo must be one of those photos that has the least filters. As you can see, eyebags and whatsnot. But that's also because I took this after I got back from school and my 50% of my makeup would have all dropped off. lol.

Recently, I'm into a more natural style makeup. Besides my usual foundation and eyeshadow routine, I'm just putting eyeliner and mascara. it's a good change in my opinion because I'm starting to accept how small my eyes are and I should stop trying to enlarge it with more eyeliner because some things just don't work. lol. I guess learning to accept ourselves is part of growing up.

I know yesterday and today, I've been spamming my instagram with my selcas. I'm feeling pretty yesterday. No special reason but I guess it's because I feel good about myself. Like, finally I feel confident. For no special reasons at all either, I feel like dressing up more feminine. All this while I thought I can be in the mood to dress more girly when I'm in love. Must be my hormones going haywire or something. Whatever, not that it's a bad thing right? After all, I'm a girl, I should be more ladylike.

Yesterday, my mom uploaded a photo of my pet dog on Facebook because I've been asking her to send me photos of P-chan/BB. (Yes, my mom has a fb. Wow. lol.)

FYI, it's a male dog. But he looks like a female dog! All the time, unless he is fully shaved naked. lol. I miss him so much. I remember how i will randomly chase him around the house just to hug him tightly for no reason and he will just let me. lol. We're like best mates! Best buddies! If only I was really rich as hell, I'll send him over from home over here. But you know, life sometimes isn't fair. But there is a reason for everything I guess. lol.

14/06/2013
P-chan aka BB. He has two names. lol. Both by me, but well he reacts to both. :3

I'm randomly rambling away. I hope you don't mind. I'm even disturbing my friends on twitter. I can't wait for exams to be over. I'm already having plans on what to do this summer. Like how a japanese would spend their summer.

Which is going to the beach and play with fireworks and have a barbecue session and overnight at a resort nearby or something? That sounds like a perfect summer holiday! Yes? No? I vote yes. Lol. Maybe I read too much shoujo mangas recently. But well, a girl can always dream right? But I'm really hoping it will come true. I'll try asking my classmates if they are willing to go along with it. It's relaxing and I doubt it will cost that much besides the lodging and stuff. Best way to celebrate after exams right?!

Talking about summer, the sun here is really bad. I've never been so tanned in my life! Even when I was in a uniform group when I was in secondary school, I wasn't this tanned. But well, I guess I got what I previously wished for, I want to be a little tanner to look healthy instead of being pale all the time. I hope I don't get any tanner though. So far, thanks to the awesome 50++SPF sunblock by Biore, I haven't got sunburnt yet. lol.

I think I let my thoughts run wild again. This post has became so random, I don't even know what title to type in. Oh well, I shall let it end here. lol.

I wonder when I'll want to write again. lol.

x

Good Morning! :)

Good morning. :3

It has been raining for a few days now. It’s still raining here today in Tokyo. I’m still pondering as to whether to head back home for a quick holiday end of this month or stay behind and try to enjoy as much as I can in Tokyo. A few days back, I was really more on heading back, but yesterday and today, I’m more on staying on.

I’m so fickle minded. I always weigh the pros and cons and I can’t let go of either side. I have a love-hate relationship with Japan and my home country. I dislike certain things in both country but I do love them as well because of the amazing memories I have back at home and in Tokyo Japan.

I want to go home during the Spring break because I really miss my friends and my pet doggy. Also, the plus points of going back is I can get pampered by my friends and family and be all princessy when I do come back. Like a real getaway trip from school and all. lol.

But it's troublesome to come back and I have to spend the extra amount of money to go and come back. I also wish to spend time with my classmates as well. Get to know them more because I really think we met for a reason. I mean, what are the odds of meeting another person from another country in another country and almost having the same goal. I want to cherish the moments I can with them. Though, sometimes I think they are being too traditional chinese and I can't really understand and hope they will chill on that a little. But who's perfect am i right? heh.

Life is about making decisions and not regretting them right? I'm trying to make full use of my time here while I can and enjoy fully. Hopefully getting into university and to be able to enjoy life even more. I always wonder how it is like to be a university student and being in a big school campus. Also, hopefully able to meet the destined one like those shoujo mangas or love dramas. lol. Yeah, I'm always dreaming of being in a shoujo manga. lol.

I sorta got myself into such a situation and it's not exactly enjoyable. Kai should know about it because we talked quite a bit on LINE call past few days. It was really epic because we ended up with a conclusion, "Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it." Haha. Get the joke? No? Alright. lol. Whatever, your loss. Haha.

Anyways, the news on Kingdom Hearts 3 in development and Final Fantasy XV is going around on my twitter and FB wall recently. It's making me into the mood to play games as well. This is so frustrating because I know exams are just around the corner but I'm just not in the mood to study. I swear if I'm continuing this way, I'll really regret it after I get back my results... I have got to inject some discipline into my brain like right now. lol.

Now because my mom has given me the green light on getting a PSP vita, if I really want it, I’m really tempted. lol. It's then I realised, I can live my life as how it is back at home even if I’m in Tokyo Japan. I don't even know why I gave myself so much stress as to be a nerd student and just study all year round. That is so not me. I try to change myself for the "better" too much sometimes and it just backfires. One good example was what happen a few weeks back. Thinking about it makes me feel so stupid. lols.

I'm really sorry to worry my friends and family. I won't let you guys worry anymore okay?? hahaha. I'm thinking of getting my hair trimmed after my exams. I'm thinking like how I would usually think. During holidays I would wanna do all the pampering to myself. lol. I can't wait for my hair to grow longer. I want to feel really more girly. Oh look! I'm changing to be more feminine. The wonders of growing up. Perhaps a little slow for me but whatever. Lol

Anyways, I'll tell you a stupid thing I did yesterday. lols.
I mentioned on my twitter about how my dinner was. It was bad, it was good, it was just meh. Honestly, I don't even know what I cooked yesterday. I was literally throwing any seasonings I see in my kitchen. Which was really stupid. Ended up it didn't tasted like anything. It was practically tasteless. lol. Must be due to the rain that caused a little cockup in my brain. lol. Never going to do that. I should do more plannings for my meals if I'm going to home cook them. Lols! I'm not good with cooking. haha.

12/06/2013

I manage to get back into reading. Sort of. I got this book from a bookstore last month. English books are so limited here, I'm dying. lol. I'm only at the first few chapters of the book so I'm not sure if it's as good as the critics said. Usually I'm more into fantasy genres but the books here are so limited, it's mostly just Harry Potter or LOTRs in that section. Oh well, gotta make do with whatever you have, y'know?

Suddenly, I don't know what to write anymore. lol. I'll stop here and prepare for school! It's finally Friday! I don't even know why I'm so happy when there isn't anything good coming up this Sunday and next Tuesday. Sunday, I have to head down to this school for my N3 mock exam and get 2000yen as an incentive because they are thinking how they can improve the JLPT papers. Tuesday would be my end of term exams. Not much to look forward to... lol. Thinking about it makes me depress. Haha.

Anyways, have a great day ahead. :)

Love,
Chisaki

Pasta for dinner!

Hello.

School was good today. I managed to concentrate and pay attention in class like how I wanted. But honestly I think I got to thank my good friend Wayne for talking with me on LINE since morning. Though it's just text messages in Japanese throughout, it just make your mind to be accustom to the "japanese language' switch for the day.

After school I went to the supermarket to buy bread so I'll have something to munch at home when I feel like eating. In replacement of those sinful chocolates that I have yet to finish. lol. I headed to Shibuya afterwards and headed towards Tower Records. I didn't go there to purchase any CDs though. I went to their cafe and had dinner and did revision for my upcoming test.

トマトスパゲッティ @ 渋谷タワーレコードカフェ
2013年6月１０日
Tomato Pasta @ Shibuya Tower Records
10/6/2013

The atmosphere around the cafe is really nice. They play really good music as well. I think those are like mostly indies english music or something. Something different for a change instead of the more popular ones.

I got to really study for a bit so I'm really happy. It's a good place to chillax with friends as well. If only my classmates were into this kind of chillax sessions. I doubt they like this kind of thing.  I'm recently talking with my friends back at home more. Though sometimes I may seem busy with test and all previously. I have pretty much got used to the school schedules so I'm alright. I'm trying my best in school to concentrate though sometimes I really want to join in my classmates and fall asleep in class. But if I do, I know I'll regret it afterwards. lol.

I bet I didn't mention but, pasta has always been my favourite food. I think this made a kickstart on my craving for pasta. I shall head to the combini and buy some pasta back home for dinner tomorrow. That's just what I plan today, plans may change tomorrow. Who knows. lol.

I'm kinda tired so I'll head to bed. It's nice to be writing blogs as per normal now instead of thinking what I should not write to make people worry. I'm feeling good and working hard. I hope this continues on.

Love you guys. xoxo.

Never lose sight of what's in front of you.

Hey guys,

I think I can safely say I'm feeling a lot better. I learn to accept certain things and I'm doing a lot better thanks to my friends talking with my on the phone. I love my friends alot!

Sometimes in class I feel like shit and suffocating still though because of the overwhelming stress from the lessons. No kidding, I didn't know stress can make me feel so suffocated. I guess it's because this stress is like a totally different level from all those I ever had.

School's a bitch. But since when school isn't? haha. I'm not the nerdy kind of student and I can honestly tell you I'm putting a lot of effort in trying to pay attention in class and sometimes I get headache after class. I know where that source of headache previously come from. lol. My brain isn't use to all this information absorbing.

But I'll show you guys a smiling photo of me just to let you guys know I'm getting better.

You know, I realised after coming here, I let certain parts of myself which I probably didn't like take over. So thus making me feeling miserable. Since a few days back after breaking down, I've been calling my good friends through the LINE app and chatting with them.

They made me realise something, I need to be in my bitch mode once in a while. I haven't been in my bitch mode for like.. 2 months straight, so I suppose I feel suffocated and need to let it all out. I try to compromise and accept everything. Then it became too overwhelming for me to even take it. It's so not me. I should complain more instead of trying to compromise and ended up losing myself and being someone I'm not.

I ended up losing that strong willingness and mindset I had before coming here. No wonder I feel like I'm a useless piece of shit who is weak and not able to overcome anything.

I really wanna thank everyone who believed in me and telling me I can do it. How can I forget a part of me....? That's really silly. lol. I just gotta be me and do things the "Chisa" way and somehow or rather even a tiny wee bit, things will go well.

I shouldn't lose sight of what my main aim is. lol. Just like what what Jim told me a few days back. I mean, I don't have time for all this shit. lol. Time to be the inconsiderate and do what I do best, which is the word that Singaporeans like to say... "Chiong!" lol.

Time to go take a quick shower and drink my green tea and so some slow pace studying today. I can't believe I'm getting really lazy on my makeup too. Most of the time, I'm just having my eyeliner on and I'm good to go. lol. Lazy Chisa kicking in! Lol. But this is so much more like me right? haha.

Love you guys. Peace out.

チサキ☆

:')

Hello.

I'm slowly recovering from breaking down on Friday.

I escaped from the stress during the weekends at my friend's house.

I felt like crying in the middle of the class on Monday because all of a sudden I don't understand what the teacher is talking so I was thinking, "oh shit. what am I going to do?"

I got a "scolding" from one of my good friends back home through whatsapp. But it's good because it's a scolding to wake me up. I cried again before going to school. But that felt a lot better. I was able to concentrate in class better. So, basically class today wasn't that bad. I can do most of the questions.

I went home straight after school and tried to make something out from a lot of leftovers from last week or last few days. I gotta finish them all asap so I can buy something fresh again. I didn't eat much still but I'm trying to let myself start eating again.

My neighbour, Alaa, reckons I should sleep more so I can relax more. I suppose I should sleep more. I always only have 6 hours of sleep. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of my sleep as well. I really like her alot, I mean, she was my first friend I made here. She cheers me up with silly things. She is currently my only English speaking friend here. She makes my life in the dormitory fun.

I'm slowly sorting out my thoughts because I don't want such a feeling to continue anymore.

I got my friends back at home worried. They text me and gave me advices and encouragement. Love is where home is~~~ ♪♪

Really thankful. Without them, I'd still be crying today and feeling like shit. But of course, my friends in Japan are also giving me encouragement and wants me to feel better.

Sometimes I think it's because I put too much pressure on myself. I gotta learn to chill.

I'm still thinking if I should go back home during spring break in June. I bet everyone wants to feed me til I'm chubby again. I think I lost a lot of weight. Haha. Stressed.

I tend to lose weight easily from stress by not eating and sleeping. It's not that I don't want to, but i just can't help it. The feeling is just too terrible.

I'll make sure I start eating again. :)