First rant of the year

This is my first update of the year 2015. I've decided to write because I couldn't sleep. I think I messed up my bio clock just before school re-opens.(hurray, NOT). This may sound more like a rant rather than anything happy. I apologise to be starting out so negatively. But, honestly, there are too many "I'm-so-thankful-for-all-the-memories-and-things-I've-learnt-and-experienced-in-2014,-thank-you-everyone-who-had-been-a-part-of-it" post so No Thank You. I am not going to jump on the bandwagon. Though, honestly, I do feel the same way as everyone else who posted that. I am thankful but I'm not going to make a post declaring my love because I think this sort of things should be private and only for my loved ones to know how I really feel. Also, because declaring your love on social networks are so overrated (Or should I say, so last year! lol).

Moving on... I just figured out the source of my anger, annoyance and irritation in the last few days. Yes, sorry to be a party pooper but I wasn't really in the mood to celebrate the new year. Just so you know, my source of annoyance had nothing to do with hormones. It was just something that happened which apparently had crossed my personal boundaries. Not to mention, I have a sore throat right now. It is giving me much discomfort that it is adding on to my annoyance. (what an awesome way to start the year 2015)

People who know me knows that I am usually pretty carefree, and I  can compromise to loads of things. This is perhaps the first time I felt so violated. Maybe violated isn't the best word but I can't think of any other words at the moment. At first, I thought it was because I was going through a phase in my life which I believe many would like to call it "quarter-life crisis". But, I wasn't really worrying about all that too much so that is definitely not it. Then, I thought it was because I was feeling lonely because I didn't go back home this winter holidays to hang out with my friends. Thankfully, I realised that it wasn't the case about few hours ago when I was trying to sleep and was in this "self-reflection-session-before-i-enter-dream-land" moment. So, I paced around my house, and try to do the usual things I do at home like, editing photos, watching animes and killing some zombies with my guy pals. Unfortunately, it didn't work at all.

Afterwhich, I decided to go into 'zen mode' in which I tell myself to calm down and do some observation and more self-reflection to find out the source of the whole problem. Then, a sudden enlightenment! I found the problem and there was really nothing I can do about it since the damage have been done. Now that I realised it, everytime I do happen to stumble upon it or think about it again, I get so pissed that I want to scream and punch somebody. However, since, I am a loving homosapien, I've decided not to. But it was also then, I started to get slightly depressed as I reflect how stupid I was. Following that, was my constant temptation to want to give myself a face-palm or a smack in the face.

This is basically how I started my year 2015. Not a very good start but I am hoping that the rest of the days until school reopens on the 5th would be a pleasant one. I do hope no one tries to break the solitude that I call my apartment and bed. Yes, even though I may seem like an extrovert, I am a homebody.

xoxo. Happy New Year.

PS; I've uploaded a bunch of backlog photos on my tumblr. If you would like to take a peek at it --> here &  here.
PSS; Some of the photos from my Osaka trip is also up there. If you would like to take a peek at it --> here & here.