Lazy Monday Reflections

Piggy Plush accompanying me while I do my assignments on my bed. lol
21st June 2014

Hello. For some odd reason, I woke up really late today around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I usually don't sleep in THIS late but I was so 'into" my dream that I had earlier. I wanted to know what is going to happen next. Unfortunately, I don't remember the contents of my dream that I had earlier.

This is what I've recently been trying to do which is update my blogs more frequently. I wanted to do this because I want to be able to look back at my diaries and see how much I've grown and achieved in life. How many times I feel like a piece of nothing and how many times I managed to pull myself up together. Even though I prefer to keep this private to only my close friends and perhaps have a written journal, I think I should be more less self conscious about what other people might think of me.

This "self-conscious" topic and about achieving our dreams was something me and my best friend, Mai, were talking about yesterday. In fact, we have been having conversations like this recently when we go out drinking on a friday night, or any nights when we are out drinking.

Yesterday, We went to a live house at Shinjuku HeadPower to support our college seniors who were performing that night. It was a brilliant performance! Considering how long has it been since I've been to a live house, it felt really weird. It was as if I don't belong there anymore. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself that night.

Mai and I went off to a restaurant to have a little drink and we started talking about our futures. Seems a little bleak and we're trying to keep a positive mindset about it. It is not 100% impossible, it just seems really difficult. It will be almost like sacrificing  everything we have just to attain that one passion and dream we do not want to give up.  We also talked about how we use to be so self-conscious about people's opinions on us, that we gave up what we really wanted and eventually regretting it. I guess the adolescent period really screwed us up. It took us quite awhile to realize everything and I'm not sure if it is too late or is there still time. Though, I really do not mind if I start realizing everything a little late, but I would really like to know if there is still a chance.

This is what friends should be doing. Giving mental support, giving helpful advices even though it means disagreeing. Friends like these don't come by so often and when they do, I try my best to keep them. Usually, I manage to keep them because they are really awesome people that I love sincerely with all my heart!! lol.

Also, I have been trying to go on a healthy diet however, excluding the morning jogs because I cannot wake up in the morning to do so and I am lazy. I have been trying to eat less unhealthy food and making sure I can digest all my food well so I don't feel bloated all the time. Since the temperature is increasing slowly as the rainy season come and go, I need to slim down to have more confidence to wearing sleeveless clothes. I have sleeveless tops and dresses but I'm too self-conscious about my own body to wear them out. I cannot stand my flabby arms or thighs. Anyways, I also haven't been having the appetite to eat recently. It's a good combination yet a bad one, though I'm not sure how to explain myself on this part. lol.

Cloudly Tokyo this week.

Love,
C