Blessing in Disguise

Hello there. I am doing mentally better and proud to say that I have many days where I have complete inner peace. No noises in my head at all. It feels awfully weird. I suppose it is because I hardly have any days of mental peace and that instead became the 'normal' state of mind.

I think I was able to feel more at peace was because of the extraordinary series called "Anne with an E" which Mike happen to stumble on Netflix. One day, he told me to watch it with him during lunch and I fell in love with it almost immediately. At first, I was a little reluctant to like the protagonist because I recalled how similar she was to me and I knew what was coming for her. But I cannot deny how much of a strong connection I feel with the protagonist and the similarity between us when I was the same age. Watching the protagonist stay a positive mind and always overcoming all odds reminded me of myself. The part of myself that I seemed to have forgotten. I started to remember all the amazing time I had when I was younger, and that how much of a fighter I was before I started to crumble to societal pressures. It reminded me of how I also overcome all odds and got to where I am today.

Even after finishing all 3 seasons of it, I still go back and watch it and run it through like a podcast because the drama not only provides me with inner peace, the topics they discuss and talk about were also extremely empowering and provides so much hope and scope for the imagination! The empowering messages in the series were very well written; almost poetic, and the messages were delivered with a good neutrality and balance which is unlike recent and many series were a little too "in your face" forceful and stereotypical.

I think it will be my new 'bible' for now that I play on repeat on days when I can since it helps me feel at peace. Life surprises you at the moments when you least expect it. Cheers to more days with inner peace!

Before I head to bed, let me share a photo of this cosy little restaurant during our restaurant adventures last year. They serve excellent quality of Italian food and water from a glass bottle. 

8th Dec 2019

Good night.

Xoxo.

Hello 2020

Hello, 2020. This year marks my seventh year living in Tokyo, Japan. I hope this year will be brighter than the last.

I don't wish to start the first blog post of the year this gloomy but I hope to be honest about why I was so quiet for the past 2 years. I was not in a good place mentally and it was really difficult to pretend that I am well. So, I sought the easiest route - to disappear.

I thought by quietly disappearing from social media, I will be forgotten. And eventually, if I were to really disappear from the face of this earth, it will not bear any burden to anyone because I, to begin with, did not even exist.

I did pop by once in a while on my social media on my better days to keep track of days where "I made it". But most days, I was simply in a complete slump. There were months when I simply could not even touch my PS4. I was not able to enjoy playing games or taking photos anymore. So, they were just there to collect dust. The guilt of not being able to do them made me feel even worse.

Of course, there were stable weeks where I feel simply the best and was in my ought most confidence. Luckily enough, during those weeks I met my current boyfriend. That was also why I was able to squeeze out one blog post in 2019. Despite all the BS I still have to deal with at this shit hole company, he was there for me for the most part being a good listener. So, now I am in a better place, mentally, right now.

I'm playing games on my PS4 a lot more now. And, we also have games we can play multiplayer offline. We even got a new switch to our gaming collection. I even got a chance to travel to Italy with him and I took a bunch of photos.

I hope to share those photos and a sum-up of our trip. I also hope to share some game reviews as well. I want to share more of our journey together and make this blog a positive space.

The sky and sea were absolutely stunning in Sicilia Italy. If only the blazing summer sun was as tolerable, I'd give it full points.



C.