11th October 2015
Location: Singapore
Weather: Humid and Hazy
Date: 28th October 2015
I have not updated this space for almost two months! I won't consider the previous post I wrote on September 1st to be an update. Or should i? Anyways, I just didn't want to be pretentious and write about my life back home as something exciting or like it's another 'wonderful adventure' when in actuality, nothing exciting happened. I tried writing and trust me, I have a lot of drafts but I just don't feel like posting them because I'm not comfortable with letting all my opinions on the world wide web. I'm going try to just write a brief about whatever that has been going on.
Most days were boring because I allowed it to happen. I just play games all day on my PSP and hang out with my two pet dogs while waiting for the rest of my family members to come home with dinner. Surprisingly, I'm very talented at doing absolutely nothing important. I'm not particularly regretful of days like these because, let's be real here, how long can I have days where I do completely nothing productive? Not a lot. So I'm trying to cherish them while trying not to have a mental breakdown.
During days where I can be productive are also the days I sorta dislike because of the stress it gives me. I'm not a person who is good at making decisions because I still have tons to learn. I know. So, the whole process of getting things done took a little while. Not because I want to procrastinate for the sake of it but rather, it's the stress that's keeping me from wanting to do anything. I believe it's similar to the feeling of wanting escaping the stress of writing essays, or worse. Nonetheless, it is not a pleasant feeling.
Now that I've finished most of them bloody errands (or should I say life changing decisions?), I'm currently at 'peace'. Or at least, I want to believe I am. With most of my things settled I just have to slowly wait for the day to arrive. It's going to be another round of rollercoaster ride very soon. I know it and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm trying to think of positive thoughts while I countdown my days. The one thing I'm worried is that if I'm still able to withstand all of it again or will I just be too tired and get burnt out. One thing I will never know until the day comes. I'm not that much of an ignorant daredevil like how I was before.
So, what exactly have I been working on that is giving me all these stress? Well, university applications. Again?! Yes. Again. I hate it so much. I've also been trying to find a new place to stay and settling all that is to settle. Which, none of those, are my forte. But I am damn hella glad phase one is f-ing over.
I've decided to finish my studies. I'm transferring to a university to complete my studies. It's not going to be post-graduate studies because I'm just not smart enough for all that. I'm just going to finish my undergraduate studies. I only managed to finish first half of it so I'm going to finish the second half of it.
There, I've said it. And now you know.
I know studies isn't everything but I just want to finish what I started. I'm going back to Tokyo a few days after my birthday and celebrating my favourite holiday, Christmas, with my friends back in Tokyo. I'm not sure what is installed for me next year but I'm hoping for the best. x
PS: Yes, I am skipping Halloween because I don't like scary stuff.
